Asking for things

This guide is about how your child asks for what they want or need: by pointing or with words. In every idea below, your child gets the thing as soon as they ask in any way.

The ideas below fit into play, jobs around the house and trips out. You can use the same ideas in any language.

When children learn this

Health checklists say that by 15 months, most children point to ask for something or for help.
Health checklists use 'most children' to mean at least 3 in 4 children. If your child is not doing a 'most children' skill by the age given, see your GP or child health nurse for advice.
Many children aged 2 to 3 can use words to say what is wrong or to ask for help.
Between 4 and 5, some children start to ask in a more polite way, with words like can, could and would.
Children learn language skills at different ages.

Try this

While you play

Hold up a ball and a car. Ask one question, then wait. Give your child the toy they point to or name. If they do not answer, give them one anyway.

You: The ball or the car?
Your child: Car.
You: You want the car. Here is the car.

Around the house

At snack time, give food or drink straight away when your child asks in any way: a look, a reach, a point, a sound or a word. Never hold back food or drink to get your child to talk.

Your child: Water.
You: You want some water. Here is your water.

When you go out

At the park, your child holds on to the swing and looks at you.

Your child: Push!
You: You want a push. Here is a big push.

Why it helps

When you say back what your child asked for and add a word or two, your child hears the words for asking. Your child does not have to copy you.

When to get help

Tell the speech pathologist or your GP if your child is between 1 and 2 and does not babble, does not respond to speech or sounds, or makes few or no tries to communicate.
Tell the speech pathologist or your GP if your child is 18 months or older and has no clear words, does not point, wave or use other gestures, or does not follow simple instructions.
Tell the speech pathologist or your GP if your child is between 2 and 3 and does not try to communicate with you.
At any age, see your GP if your child does not respond to sounds or to things they see, makes little or no eye contact, or has poor interaction with adults or other children.

Safety and when to act

If your child stops using words or skills they had, or you have new worries, see your GP. Do not wait.
If your child is 3 or older and people who know them well understand very little of what they say, or your child is 2 or older and not putting two or more words together, see your GP or child health nurse for advice.
Hearing problems can affect talking. Ask your GP about a hearing test, especially after a lot of ear infections.
If your child stutters, contact a speech pathologist. Give your child time to finish. Do not use word lists or sound games with a child who stutters unless your speech pathologist says so.
Tell your GP if your child often coughs, chokes or gags when eating or drinking, has wet or gurgly breathing, keeps getting chest infections, or is losing weight. If food is stuck and your child cannot swallow, go to the nearest emergency department. If it is hard for them to breathe, call 000 and ask for an ambulance. If your child is choking and cannot cough or make a sound, start first aid and call 000.
Do not ask your child to say a word again and again. They may get frustrated.
You can do these ideas in any language. Learning more than one language does not cause talking problems.
These ideas do not replace a speech pathologist. Stay on the waitlist.

More help

Sources

Last checked 12 October 2026

Asking for things