A toileting social story is a short story, told from your child's point of view, that walks them through using the toilet one step at a time. The steps are pants down, sit, wipe, flush, pants up and wash hands. Below is a free example you can copy and change for your child, with how to read it together and when to ask your GP for help.
Parents also call it a toilet training story or a potty social story. It is one tool among several. Use it alongside a picture schedule, praise and a calm routine. It does not replace the signs of readiness listed below.
A free toileting social story you can copy
This is our own example. It follows the six steps on Raising Children Network's printable toileting visual aid, in the same order. Each numbered line is one page. For each page, take a photo of the toilet or potty, step and basin your child uses, and change the words to the ones your family uses.
- Everybody does wees and poos. Grown-ups do wees and poos. Children do too. Wees and poos go in the toilet.
- Sometimes my body tells me a wee or a poo is coming. I can tell a grown-up, "I need to go to the toilet."
- I go to the toilet. I pull my pants down. I sit on the toilet. I can rest my feet on the step.
- I sit for a little while. Sometimes a wee or a poo comes out. Sometimes nothing comes out, and that is OK. Then I can get off.
- When I am finished, I use toilet paper to wipe. A grown-up helps me wipe until I can do it by myself. We wipe from the front to the back.
- I push the button to flush. The flush makes a loud noise. The water takes the wee and poo away.
- I pull my pants up. I wash my hands.
- My grown-up may say, "You sat on the toilet. Good job." I am learning to use the toilet.
Most of the sentences describe what happens. A few say what your child can do, such as "I can tell a grown-up". That mix follows the Queensland Autism Hub, which says these stories are generally written with more sentences that describe the situation than sentences that tell the child what to do. The story uses "I" for your child, as the City of Mandurah guide suggests. "You" appears only when a grown-up speaks. It also says "sometimes" and "may" for things that change from one day to the next.
Sources: Raising Children Network (visual aid for toileting; toilet training autistic children); Queensland Autism Hub (social narratives); City of Mandurah (how to write a social story); Student Wellbeing Hub (make a social story).
How to change the story for your child
Keep each story to one situation, with one to four sentences on a page, as the City of Mandurah guide suggests. Write a separate short story for each new situation, such as a new toilet. These are pages you might add or swap.
Potty or toilet
Show the potty or toilet your child will use. Raising Children Network says children can start on either. For an autistic child who finds change hard, it suggests going straight to the toilet.
Boys and girls
Boys can sit or stand to wee. The Sydney Children's Hospitals Network suggests sitting first, then standing once they are comfortable. Raising Children suggests teaching boys to shake after a wee.
Pooing on the toilet
"Poos go in the toilet too. I sit on the toilet to do a poo."
The flush
Raising Children suggests explaining the flush noise to your child before it happens. A child who finds the noise upsetting can try headphones, or flush the toilet themselves for practice.
Accidents
"Sometimes a wee or a poo comes before I get to the toilet. That is OK. I tell a grown-up, and they help me." Read this page at a calm time. A social story is never used as a consequence.
A toilet away from home
Raising Children suggests a separate story for a new toilet, such as one at a friend's place, read before you go. The Sydney Children's Hospitals Network says toilets outside your child's usual routine at home or school can be hard because they are unfamiliar. If your child seems worried about the toilets at child care, kindergarten or school, talk to the staff about how they can help.
A child who does not talk
Swap "I can tell a grown-up" for the way your child lets you know. For example: "I can show my toilet card." Raising Children suggests teaching your child a way to tell you they need the toilet, such as a sign or a picture card.
Use the same words in the story that everyone uses with your child. Raising Children suggests the whole family settles on one word for the toilet. If your child goes to child care or preschool, share the story with the staff.
Sources: City of Mandurah (how to write a social story); Raising Children Network (toilet training guide; toilet training autistic children); Sydney Children's Hospitals Network (toilet training for toddlers; occupational therapy toilet training information sheet); NSW Department of Education (tips for visuals).
Check your child is ready before you start
A story is for a child who is ready to learn. It is not a way to start toilet training early. South Australia's parenting guide says signs of readiness matter more than age, and other state health pages warn against starting too early. Signs include:
- staying dry in a nappy for 2 hours or more
- pulling their pants up and down
- following a simple instruction, such as "bring me your shoes"
- telling you they are doing a wee or poo, or that they just did one
- sitting still for a few minutes
Your child does not need to show every sign. Raising Children Network says you might see signs from about 2 years. The Victorian and South Australian governments give a range of about 18 months to 3 years.
Autistic children usually show the same signs, and learning may take longer. Raising Children suggests talking to your child's paediatrician or GP before you start, to rule out medical problems.
If your child is 3½ or older and still has wet pants in the day, see your GP. The ages are explained in the GP section below.
Sources: Raising Children Network (toilet training guide; toilet training autistic children); Sydney Children's Hospitals Network (toilet training for toddlers); Better Health Channel (toilet training); Parenting SA (learning to use the toilet); NT Government (getting ready for toilet training); WA Child and Adolescent Health Service (toilet training).
How to read the story with your child
Read the story together at a regular time each day, and again just before your child sits on the toilet. When your child knows the routine well, read the story less often. Raising Children Network says to review and update a story when the situation changes. A move from the potty to the toilet is one such change.
Put a picture schedule of the same steps on the wall next to the toilet. Raising Children suggests going over it with your child 2 to 3 times a day, and suggests that every adult who takes your child to the toilet uses the same schedule. Raising Children's printable visual aid uses the six steps in the story above. Keep each sit short: a few minutes, and no more than 5 minutes.
Praise what your child did, in words: "You sat on the toilet. Good job." If you use rewards, the WA Child and Adolescent Health Service suggests stickers or stamps rather than food.
Never use the story as a consequence. The Student Wellbeing Hub says social stories are never used to punish a child. Accidents are part of learning, and state health services say punishment does not help.
Sources: Raising Children Network (social stories; toilet training autistic children; visual aid for toileting); Queensland Autism Hub (social narratives); Student Wellbeing Hub (make a social story; starting school for autistic children); WA Child and Adolescent Health Service (toilet training); Better Health Channel (toilet training).
What the research says
Raising Children Network rates social stories as "promising" for autistic children. That means some research shows positive effects, more research is needed, and most studies are small. The Queensland Autism Hub says the evidence has been mixed, and that recent systematic reviews call social narratives an established practice, based mainly on single-case studies.
Neither source rates a toileting story on its own. Raising Children lists four toilet training strategies for autistic children: praise and rewards, social stories, video modelling and visual supports. It suggests trying a combination. For video modelling, it suggests animations in which children go through the toilet steps one by one.
Raising Children rates visual supports and video modelling as "established", a higher rating than it gives social stories. So use the story with a picture schedule, not instead of one. Raising Children also says social stories may help less for children with low comprehension skills.
Raising Children's social story pages are written about autistic children. The City of Mandurah guide says social stories can be used by anyone. South Australian and Northern Territory government pages suggest reading a toileting book or watching a video together.
Sources: Raising Children Network (social stories; visual supports; toilet training autistic children); Queensland Autism Hub (social narratives).
Fear of the toilet, holding on to poo, and accidents
Some children are scared of falling in or of being flushed away. The WA Child and Adolescent Health Service suggests using a potty, flushing together, or flushing after your child has left the room. The Royal Children's Hospital suggests something to rest their feet on, rails to hold, or a book your child likes kept near the toilet. If the opening in the toilet scares your child, Raising Children Network suggests a training seat.
The Royal Children's Hospital says many children get constipated while they learn to use the toilet, or after a poo that hurt or scared them. If your child holds on, the poo gets harder and the next one hurts more. The Sydney Children's Hospitals Network lists signs of holding on: squatting, crossing legs, refusing to sit on the toilet and hiding to poo. Ask your GP before you give any laxative.
When an accident happens, stay calm and help your child get clean. The WA service says not to get angry or make your child clean up. If training becomes a struggle, take a break. Pick a date to try again: state pages suggest a few weeks, and Raising Children suggests about 3 months for autistic children. See your GP sooner if your child has a lot of pain doing a poo, or if holding on does not get better with simple changes.
Sources: WA Child and Adolescent Health Service (toilet training); Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne (constipation); Raising Children Network (toilet training autistic children; constipation); Sydney Children's Hospitals Network (constipation); Better Health Channel (toilet training); Parenting SA (learning to use the toilet).
When to talk to your GP or child health nurse
You do not need a list of signs to ask. If you are worried about your child's toileting, talk to your GP or child health nurse. See your GP if your child:
- was dry and starts wetting or soiling again. Go soon, even if it started after a change such as a new baby or a move.
- has pain when doing a wee, blood in their wee, or wees very often
- has a lot of pain doing a poo, blood in their poo, or poo accidents
- holds on to poo (for example squatting, crossing their legs or refusing to sit) and simple changes are not helping
- has a fever or vomiting along with constipation
For daytime wetting, the ages differ between services.
The WA Child and Adolescent Health Service says to see a doctor if your child still sometimes has wet pants in the day at 3½ years or older. South Australian and Northern Territory government pages say to see your doctor if your child is not using the toilet by 4.
Raising Children Network and the Sydney Children's Hospitals Network use "over 5" for a different question: when regular daytime wetting counts as a bladder problem. If your child is 3½ or older and still has wet pants in the day, see your GP. Do not wait until 5.
Being dry at night comes later. Raising Children says some children are dry at night months or years after they are dry in the day. If bedwetting upsets you or your child, ask your GP.
Sources: WA Child and Adolescent Health Service (toilet training); Parenting SA (learning to use the toilet); NT Government (toilet training troubles); Raising Children Network (toilet training guide; constipation; bedwetting); Sydney Children's Hospitals Network (daytime wetting; toilet training for toddlers); Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne (constipation); Better Health Channel (toilet training).
Who else can help with toilet training
Your GP or child health nurse is the first stop. Your GP can check for constipation or a urinary tract infection, and may refer you on. Other people who can help:
- An occupational therapist can check whether your child is ready. They can help with fear of the toilet, getting on the toilet, wiping and clothing, and share a plan with child care or school. Read more about paediatric occupational therapy, or use Occupational Therapy Australia's Find an OT (opens in a new tab).
- A continence nurse is a nurse trained in bladder and bowel problems. Your child may be referred to one for daytime wetting.
- An occupational therapist, psychologist or speech pathologist can help you learn to write your child's story.
- The NDIS early childhood approach (opens in a new tab) is for children younger than 9 with developmental delay or disability. It can help even if your child is not eligible for the NDIS.
Find a paediatric occupational therapist near you.
Sources: Raising Children Network (toilet training guide; social stories; toilet training autistic children); Sydney Children's Hospitals Network (occupational therapy toilet training information sheet; daytime wetting); NDIS (early childhood approach); Occupational Therapy Australia (find an OT).
Free Australian toileting pictures and templates
We found no Australian government site with a ready-made toileting social story. These free resources help you make your own:
- Raising Children Network's visual aid for toileting (opens in a new tab): one A4 page with six pictured steps, from pants down to wash hands.
- Raising Children Network's toilet training in pictures (opens in a new tab): a picture guide for parents, in English and 10 other languages.
- The Student Wellbeing Hub's guide to making a social story (opens in a new tab): written for starting school, but the steps can be used for any topic.
- The National Public Toilet Map (opens in a new tab): find the toilets at a place before you go, so you can write a page about them.
For more on writing stories about other situations, read our guide to social stories. If toileting is on your list before school starts, the school readiness checklist covers it with other self-care skills.
Sources: Raising Children Network (visual aid for toileting; toilet training in pictures); Student Wellbeing Hub (make a social story); Australian Government (National Public Toilet Map).
Your next step
Copy the story, add photos of your own toilet, and read it with your child at the same time each day. If toileting is one of several concerns, the autism signs hub and the school readiness hub explain what to look for and who can help. If you want help with a plan, find a paediatric occupational therapist near you.
